Bad Date Lists: What They Are and Why They Matter for Sex Workers and Escorts

When you work as a sex worker or escort, your safety doesn’t start with a contract—it starts with knowing who to say no to. A bad date list, a shared database of dangerous or abusive clients reported by workers. Also known as red flag lists, it’s not gossip—it’s survival. These lists are built by people who’ve been lied to, assaulted, scammed, or arrested because someone hid their intentions. They’re passed quietly between trusted networks, posted on encrypted forums, or stored in private apps. No official agency runs them. They exist because the system doesn’t protect you.

Bad date lists aren’t about punishing people—they’re about stopping harm before it happens. A client who refuses to show ID, pressures you to skip screening, or shows up drunk or armed doesn’t get a second chance. Workers share names, phone numbers, vehicle details, and patterns: the guy who always cancels last minute but pays cash, the one who asks for unprotected acts despite your rules, the one who calls you names after the date. These aren’t rumors. These are patterns confirmed by multiple people. client screening, the process of verifying a client’s identity and intentions before meeting. It’s the first line of defense. sex worker safety, the set of practices and tools used to reduce risk during independent work. Without bad date lists, screening is just a guess.

These lists also connect to bigger tools. escort safety, the strategies and systems used by independent escorts to protect themselves during appointments. They’re part of a toolkit that includes emergency contacts, GPS tracking, and safe word systems. But none of that works if you walk into a room with someone who’s already been flagged. Bad date lists are the earliest warning system you have. They’re not perfect—some names get added by mistake, some people get excluded because they’re well-connected. But when 12 different workers report the same person, you don’t take the risk.

What you’ll find in the posts below are real stories and practical guides from people who’ve been there. You’ll learn how to build your own list, how to check existing ones without getting tracked, what details actually matter, and how to respond when someone tries to gaslight you about a red flag. You’ll see how medical escorts use similar systems to flag unsafe clients during patient transport. You’ll read about how legal cases have been dismissed because a client’s history was already documented in a bad date list. This isn’t about fear. It’s about control. And if you’re working alone, you don’t have a lot of that. These lists are one of the few things you can actually depend on.